{Be Present}

I’ve read Glennon Melton’s Don’t Carpe Diem article linked over and over again the past week and I wanted to take a minute to respond. I agree with many of the things the author says - Parenting is hard and ridiculous at times - it fluctuates often between moments of challenge and blessing.

But here is where we differ - there are days that the ONLY thing that does keep me from pulling my hair out or completely losing my cool - the only thing that helps me regain my composure - is to remind myself that these are beautiful moments and I need to be here.

Being able to rationalize the irrational times with Aliyah, in the very moment - me, as her mother - she, as my daughter - is worth savoring too. Channeling that idea has made the more unpleasant experiences feel less overwhelming: She needs you, Marcie. Look at how small her hands are. One day the little red, screaming face is going to be a grown person who’ll be flying past me and out the door. But right at this moment, I’m the only person in the world who can help her through this. Shhh Shhh, Aliyah. Mama’s here. Some nights have been exhausting, mentally and physically but they are what they are - Some trips to the store have me checking over my shoulder wondering how many people think I am abducting someone else's child - all part of my experience in raising my girl - and so I do my best to just take them at face value and find the good to get me through.

That doesn’t mean that I don’t lose my cool, that I don’t feel overwhelmed, that I don’t wish sometimes that I was somewhere else - but being able to stop and think about the fact that we get our children as babies for such a short period of time, and as toddlers and little children for for such a brief span in the course of their life - it’s what pushes me to buck up, to keep my wits, to do what I need to do to get us through the toughest of days (or nights).

I need that internal pep talk. The constant reminder. The time goes so fast. too fast. But that realization doesn’t stress me, if anything it’s my reminder to slow down. Slow it all down and just be in this moment. The crying-and-can’t-be-calmed moments and the you-are-driving-me-crazy moments. While it works for me, I don’t expect it to work for everyone - but for my sanity, I will continue to say CARPE DIEM when it comes to raising my kids.

The worst moments and the best. I will sit in them and allow them to be whatever they are. Being able to look at the moment objectively - to find the beauty in the chaos or the humor in an otherwise stressful situation - it’s how I cope. I make mistakes and I get flustered and some days I think I may very well go insane… but reminding myself to be here - it always feels like an anchor to me. It’s how I get my arms back around the situation when I feel buried by the challenges of parenting. Maybe that makes me obnoxiously glass half full and the annoyingly silver-lining type - but it works for me.

I don’t want to wait until I’m the little old lady in the grocery store to realize that every part of this crazy, stressful, magical path through parenting is worth savoring. I need to do it every day, in little bits along the way. Attempting to savor all the good moments, but the hardest ones too. It’s how my heart and head work best. In my experience, that need doesn’t add pressure, it relieves it.

So that’s my two cents.

Carpe diem. over and over again.