Aliyah's Sunshine Themed Birthday (part 1)

I kept joking to friends and family not to expect all of her parties to be like this - The one million details, elaborate food display, etc. To be honest, I think there is a lot to be said for a good ‘ol fashion kid birthday party. The kind I had a lot of growing up. Burgers or pizza, a cake (or if you were really lucky an ICE CREAM cake), maybe a balloon on the mailbox. Kids don’t really care if you spent $50 or $500 on their party, as long as they feel special on their big day.

But this was a her first birthday. One of only a handful of birthdays that falls into that “super extra special” category - her first, her thirteenth, her sixteenth, her twenty first. This party was more for those people who have had the joy of watching her grow and flourish this past year and so all of the extra effort was worth it.

...I know what you’re thinking, “Gee Marcie, that sure is a lot of presents for a “no presents” party.” And you’re right. Tyler and I picked out 6 little gifts (and her big one: a play kitchen from her grandparents and us) for her thinking that would be all she had, but a few more were kindly brought by friends and family members. The good news is that we raised over $150 in donations for St. Jude Children's Research Hospital. I was SO excited about that!

The key to pulling this off on our budget was a lot of pre-planning. I’ve been collecting party supplies (paper plates here, party decor there) a little bit at a time for months on end. We handmade as much as possible and I simply could not have pulled this off without amazing support from Aliyah's Grammy & Grandpa, YaYa & Bebop, and her awesome aunts & uncles. They helped with everything from party set-up, to cooking the food, running errands and decorations. Aliyah's grammy shared her creative skills (and paper/stamp supplies) to help me make most all of the decorations.What would we do without our amazing family?!!?!?

Helping Dad ice cupcakes before the party

Whew. I’m now completely exhausted just typing this out. You moms out there who pull these things off by yourself in a matter of weeks, I don’t know how you do it! It took Tyler and I four months and a full team of family members to get this together. I’ll never look at one of those “birthday party inspiration” websites the same way again!

Playing in Aliyah's balloons

I will post more later about what Aliyah wore and some of my favorite moments from her party to keep this from getting too long.

When the Baby's Away, the Parents Will...

PINK birthday toes

 ...Work Their Butts Off!!

We had so much fun yesterday celebrating Aliyah's first year, but there is much more celebrating ahead! My mom offered to spend time with Aliyah today so that Tyler and I could team up to clean and get ready for company this weekend. I am so very excited for her "You Are My Sunshine" birthday party - there will be tons of pictures for next week... but for now, I better get busy; there is still so much to do!

ONE

And then she was one.

How did we get here so fast?

I’ve started this letter to you a dozen times already. Each time, deleting my words and trying again. I keep searching for words that don’t exist in this language or perhaps any language. What I need to tell you can only be felt. experienced. and so I’m really struggling to get this down.

You came into our lives two weeks past your due date; your labor consistently and steadily intensified throughout the day and in a blink you were there in our arms. With each passing day, each month since you arrived we have fallen, or better yet, risen more deeply in love with you. We are better versions of ourselves. Better parents to you. Better partners to each other. Better people to the world. Because of the love you’ve poured over us.

It was 5am (24 hours before you were actually born). I sat up in bed staring wide eyed at your father as the realization sunk in that you were on your way. The day we had planned (over) 9 months for was finally here. I went into your room that night before we left for the hospital and leaned against the cool wood of your crib and cried. I was scared and excited and overwhelmed with what was waiting for us that early morning.

Giving birth to you, in many ways felt like a battle. I fought against myself and for myself. Against you and for you. And looking back on it now, I realize that it was so physical, so emotional, so painful and pure because in those early hours of your birth-day, the old me was leaving. She was saying her goodbyes. And rushing in like a bull, in the midst of my sweat and determination was a new woman. A completely changed, determined, madly in love woman. I became her in that moment you were laid down upon my skin.

Thank you for making me new.

This is our anniversary, Aliyah Jacquelyn. Your first year of life. Twelve months of giving us laughter and love and sleepless nights and proud milestones. And this is my first full year as this better woman. I made mistakes but learned what you needed and when you needed it and how to rock you just right and what to say to get you to smile and a thousand other little things along the way.

Your father and I have loved every single second that has passed sinced your birth. We marvel in the joy that is you daily. You're are our first born. Our sweet baby dove. The one who changed everything.

Happy first birthday Aliyah Jacquelyn!

love, mama

Aliyah's First Year in Pictures

My little baby girl turns ONE on Thursday!! As I dig through old pictures and get all mama-sentimental at how much Aliyah has changed in a year’s time, I want to also thank you for taking this journey along with us. I can’t believe how quickly my tiny newborn has grown into the little person she is now. It is truly an amazing thing, to reflect on how much our lives have been altered and forever improved by the presence of one sweet little girl.

12 hours before I went into labor

right after Aliyah's birth

home from the hospital MAY

1 month JUNE

2 months JULY

3 months AUGUST

4 months SEPTEMBER

5 months OCTOBER

6 months NOVEMBER

7 months DECEMBER

8 months JANUARY

9 months FEBRUARY

10 months MARCH

11 months APRIL

12 months MAY

Joplin, MO

Our thoughts and prayers are with the people of Joplin, MO today as well as the many other cities who have be affected by devastation from tornadoes this past weekend.

Volunteers: 1-800-427-4626

Nurses & Doctors: 417-832-9500

Weather & Emergency Info: http://www.mo.gov/

International Doula Month

May is International Doula Month...

Paula AbDOULA?? meDOULA oblongata??

Nope! A doula doesn't have anything to do with pop music or Adam Sandler movies. A doula is a professional birth coach who supports a woman in labor as well as her partner. The word "doula" comes from the ancient Greek meaning "a woman who serves".

Our personal experience with using a doula was an incredible one! Tyler and I were both put at ease and able to focus on bringing Aliyah into this world without worrying about all the other details of what we had learned in our birth classes: comfort measures, labor positions, pushing positions, massage techniques.

We also didn't have to worry about communicating our birth plan with nurses and doctors. This was HUGE because my OB wasn't the doctor that ended up delivering Aliyah. We had talked and talked with our doctor about our birth plan and she was behind us 100% (having 2 natural childbirths herself). I never had to worry about making sure the new doctor was aware of our plans since our doula also had a copy of our wishes as well as numerous discussions with us.

My husband was so involved during labor, that he didn't have time to also be a memory keeper. Our doula fulfilled this role by taking notes of how my labor progressed and capturing photos. I didn't realize how important that would all be until I was back at home trying to remember this amazing and empowering experience... and couldn't remember if my water broke at 1:00am or 1:30am... did I push for 30 minutes? It felt like forever... what was the number of my delivery room? When our doula handed us a typed paper of exactly how my labor progressed from my very first contraction to when Aliyah latched for the first time to eat I just melted as I read that piece of paper over and over. I also treasure the pictures she took. Because of her, we have pictures of Tyler cutting the umbilical cord and the two of us holding hands as I worked through a contraction. priceless!

Advantages of Labor Support

50% decrease in cesarean sections

60% decrease in epidural use

30% decrease in use of IV pain medications

25% decrease in length of labor

30% decrease in use of forceps

40% decrease in use of pitocin

Improved Breasefeeding Success

Decreased Postpartum Depression

Doulas are not just for women looking to have a natural childbirth! Although, they are definitely ideal for a woman wanting minimal medical intervention, anyone can use the support from a doula. Birthing a baby is a huge physical experience. It takes courage and focus no matter how a baby is welcomed to this world (natural, epidural, c-section).

A easy way to start your search for a certified doula in your area is to look on dona.org. Find one that fits your family's personality. Ask lots of questions... what type of training have you had? Do you have a back-up? What are your fees? It's okay to check references and credentials. It is also a good idea to conduct a face-to-face interview. Talk about services, breastfeeding support, experience and philosophy.

Click on KS or MO to find a list of certified doulas in your state

My husband and I would both agree that hiring a doula to support us during my pregnancy, labor and post labor was one of the best ways we have spent our money and have often referred to our doula as priceless! When we found out that May is International Doula Month we made sure to say "thank you" again to a woman who is very special to us.

(Information from birthingbeyond.com Doula: Vanessa Flood)

Giving Thanks: A Birthday Twist

I kept trying to figure out how I could raise awareness and money for cancer research as part of Aliyah's birthday celebration. We have so much to be thankful for, most of all that our daughter is healthy and thriving.

We decided to include a note along with her birthday invite that asked our friends and family, if instead of a gift, they would consider a donation in whatever amount they were comfortable giving to St. Jude's Children Research Hospital. This charitable organization is recognized for its pioneering research and treatment of children with cancer and other catastrophic diseases. St. Jude treats more than 5,700 patients each year and is the only pediatric cancer research center where families never pay for treatment not covered by insurance.

Aliyah already has so much, we felt like this would be the most appropriate and actionable way to celebrate the blessing of her healthy first year. I was worried that making such a request would come off as tacky or forceful to our invited guests, but the feedback I’ve received has been overwhelmingly positive.

We’re making it really easy for folks to contribute - we’re setting up a little mailbox on a table with instructions on where to make out a check as well as a laptop set up to donate online. Tyler and I will mail all of the donations in together afterwards and St. Jude will send a personal acknowledgement to each donation letting them know that their funds have been received.

“But what about presents?” asked a few concerned folks. “You can’t have a first birthday without opening presents!” Tyler and I have purchased a few special toys for Aliyah to open on her birthday. We also plan to make our own donation to St. Jude in honor of Aliyah's first birthday.

I am really excited about the opportunity and hope to make it a tradition. I know this is just a little, tiny action against the giant beast of pediatric cancer - but my greatest wish is that one day in the very near future, the cure rate goes to 100%.

If you’d like to learn more about donating to St. Jude, please visit Aliyah's St. Jude Tribute page.

We will keep fighting

Walking

Aliyah put one little foot in front of the other last week and walked across the bricks at the Deanna Rose Children's Farmstead, exactly two weeks before she turns 12 months old.

Just to make sure it wasn’t a fluke, her daddy practiced with her all weekend long. He really wanted to see her walk since he missed it the first time. Finally, while we were out waiting for the engraving on my Mother's Day gift (we celebrated again this weekend since Aliyah was sick last weekend), Aliyah took about four steps towards Tyler! I don’t think I’ve squealed so loudly since the first time we got her to laugh.

These recent events have also put our baby proofing into high gear. We spent some more time this weekend making sure that our house is really ready for a tee tiny walker. A page has turned in our story, a new chapter begins: Aliyah goes upright.

I happened to be taking pictures of Aliyah when she decided to take off! I was so excited, I snapped a couple shots and then remembered that my camera has a video option. I only caught her last step of about five little shuffles. I have been watching it all week: We are so proud of her!

Blogging Problems

AHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhh...

Not sure what has been going on with the blog. I know some comments that I had read earlier have vanished and I have been wrestling with issues trying to post. Hopefully everything is back to normal soon :(

Living Dairy-Free

This seems to be quite a hot topic. Very few people are willing to tell the truth about dairy. In fact, criticizing milk in America is like taking on motherhood, apple pie or baseball (Mark Hyman, MD).

I first became curious about others living dairy-free when Aliyah was born. I went to a breastfeeding support group through the hospital that is ran by a board certified lactation consultant. Every week new moms would show up with questions about their breastfeed babies having upset stomachs, digestive issues, gas, eczema, sleeplessness and colic. The more experienced moms would recommend giving up dairy over and over again. The lactation consultant would agree. And when a friend gave up dairy to find a much happier (breastfed) baby, this got me thinking, "What is it about dairy negatively affecting a breastfed baby?!? Milk is supposed to be good for you, right? Got Milk! Right?"

(La Leche League article about lactose intolerance, diarrhea, and allergy in breastfed infants - It's NOT your breast milk, it's the substances passed through the breast milk. Most infants will respond to eliminating cow's milk in mom's diet. Eliminating multiple foods is not necessary as a first line of therapy.)

Cow's milk is nature's perfect food... for a calf!

The majority of humans naturally stop producing significant amounts of lactase - the enzyme needed to properly metabolize lactose, the sugar in milk - sometime between the ages of two and five. In fact, for most mammals, the normal condition is to stop producing the enzymes needed to properly digest and metabolize milk after they have been weaned.

Our bodies just weren't made to digest milk on a regular basis. Instead, most scientists agree that it's better for us to get calcium, potassium, protein, and fats from other food sources, like whole plant foods - vegetables, fruits, beans, whole grains, nuts, seeds, and seaweed.

Our bodies weren't made to digest milk on a regular basis? This was shocking to me. I kept reading and researching to find an even more shocking fact: About 75% of the world's population is genetically unable to properly digest milk and other dairy products (lactose intolerant). 75%?!?!

So this got me thinking some more... If babies are benefiting from their moms dropping dairy from their diets and 75% of the world's population have a hard time digesting dairy, why would the USDA (United States Department of Agriculture) create a health food pyramid that recommends drinking 3 glasses a day?

Unfortunately, I found that this recommendation is not based on science alone (or even our best interests) - some of the "experts" who helped create the food pyramid work for the dairy industry (WHAT?) And remember in the early 1990s when the pyramid recommended 6-11 servings of bread/cereals a day?!?

What about the Got Milk? campaign? The USDA was asked to look into the scientific basis for their milk mustache ads. The scientists stated this:

• Milk doesn't benefit sports performance.

• There's no evidence that dairy is good for your bones or prevents osteoporosis - in fact, the animal protein it contains may help cause bone loss.

• Dairy is linked to prostate cancer.

• It's full of saturated fat and is linked to heart disease.

• Dairy causes digestive problems for the 75 percent of people with lactose intolerance.

• Dairy aggravates irritable bowel syndrome.

• Dairy may contribute to other health issues like: allergies, sinus problems, ear infections, type 1 diabetes, constipation, and anemia in children

BOTTOM LINE: Dairy is okay for some, but it is NOT crucial for good health!

There are more shocking facts about milk/dairy that I have found since I have first started researching the health benefits of living dairy-free. Here are a few other articles I liked:
LLL: Allergies and the Breastfeeding Family
The Birth Place: Cow's Milk
Huffpost Living: Dairy

When I first thought about taking milk out of our diet I said, "No Way! Nobody in our family has been labeled lactose intolerant... But now that I've actually seen the benefits that our whole family are reaping, it seems like a no-brainer.


Here is what Dr. Walter Willett, (author of "The Fertility Diet" & "Eat, Drink and Be Healthy" and current nutrition department chair at Harvard) the second most cited doctor in clinical medicine, recommends:

1. Not sure? Try a dairy-free diet for two weeks and see what you find. (We experience less headaches, sinus issues and problems with allergies. We've also lost weight and gained energy.) If you go back to dairy and feel worse, try giving it up forever!

2. If you can tolerate dairy, use only raw, organic dairy products. Focus on fermented products like unsweetened yogurt and kefir, occasionally.

3. If you have to feed your child formula from milk, don't worry. The milk in infant formula is hydrolyzed or broken down and easier to digest (although it can still cause allergies). Once your child is a year old, switch him or her to almond milk.

Bath Time and Bubbles

Such a beautiful evening for an outdoor bath...

Curly Girly

Silly Baby

Bubbles

Squeaky Clean

Mother's Day (Extended) Weekend

The Plan: spending Saturday with my mom and family celebrating Mother's Day and then spending Sunday morning with Tyler's mom and family, eating brunch together at the country club and then Tyler had a whole afternoon of surprises for me in honor of my very first Mother's Day...

What Actually Happened: Saturday we went to the zoo and had a wonderful lunch with my family. Everyone was so kind to agree to come back to our place and help put up our sun shade for our deck - BEST Mother's Day gift ever! We have been on that deck almost non-stop now that we have shade!

Sunday morning Aliyah woke up early and got sick... twice! What?!? This wasn't in the plans.... SO we changed out of our pretty dress clothes and back into pajamas. I felt so bad for her, but I was glad Aliyah got to get some extra rest. My mom said that is the true definition of a "mother's day"!

Even when Aliyah is sick she still has her peaceful happy personality. We went outside to get some fresh air in the afternoon, blew bubbles, listened to blues and sat on our deck. Even though those were not the plans, I still had such a wonderful Mother's Day with the two people who made it possible for me to celebrate this day!

SATURDAY...

Mom was taking the picture as usual

Aunt Jillian

There's that beautiful Mama!

SUNDAY...

Aliyah and I put our dresses back on in the afternoon... just for fun!

Blowing bubbles with dad.

Just a year ago, I was wondering if I would have a baby to hold on Mother's Day 2010. Little did I know she was still 20 some days away from being snuggled close. I’ve come so far from the woman I was just one short year ago, and every day since I have been evolving into a more content, capable, and stronger version of myself.

There is something about reflecting on Mother’s day that makes me feel eternally grateful and blessed for my own beautiful mother, grandmothers and aunts. I am humbled to know the strong women who helped raise Tyler to be the kind, generous, caring man he is. I am so thankful that my daughter will get to experience the love and wisdom of all of these women combined. What a gift Mothers are!

I know it’s late - but I hope that all of you had a FABULOUS Mother's Day!!!

Happy Mother's Day

living in the mutha' hood... "I got apple bottom jeans because I sat on the core"



And I just have to add that I am so excited for Mother's Day Weekend (yup, I am celebrating all weekend)!!! This day has taken on a completely new and wonderful meaning.

Oh Aliyah

Oh Aliyah.

I feel like this is the thing my heart says most often.

Oh Aliyah.

A thousand times.

Oh Aliyah, you are such a funny little girl.

Oh Aliyah, you are changing so much each day.

Oh Aliyah, you are driving your mama bananas.

Oh Aliyah, don’t rub your lunch in your hair.

Oh Aliyah, what are you thinking.

Oh Aliyah, that face just kills me.

Oh Aliyah, why won’t you go to sleep?

Oh Aliyah, you are just so much fun.

Oh Aliyah, can you possibly know how much I love you?

Oh Aliyah.

Oh Aliyah.