Birth Date Print

I’m over the moon for this gorgeous print to commemorate Aliyah’s birth. For $26, Almost Sunday will design one for any child and let you pick the colors and print an 11 x 14 poster print that you can have framed:

Improvising

When you leave the binky at YaYa and Bebop's house you have to get a little creative... Thank you Aliyah for being so flexible and enjoying your dolphin's tail until we could get home!!

A Lucky Charm

It All Started on May 6th 2010:

Well, actually Tyler told me the original plan was supposed to be three days later (Mother's Day) but as soon as the gift came in the mail, he got so excited and gave it to me the same day... A little box wrapped and waiting for me from my husband. Inside was an unique open circle necklace with a single pearl that dangled in the middle. I loved it so much and immediately put it on.

One side is stamped with our favorite quote by Pablo Neruda: 'love, love here we are' On the other side: 'the inzers'

It was the only piece of jewelry I wore when I gave birth to my daughter. It hung around my neck through every hour of blood, sweat and tears that it took to bring her into this world.

This has not left my neck since. It makes me feel safe. It reminds me of my many blessings, to have faith in the Lord, and how thankful I am for my beautiful little family - and that when it comes right down to it, it’s a reminder that I’m a heck of a lot braver than I sometimes give myself credit for.

and so this is my new lucky charm - one that’s sure to stay around my neck for quite awhile.

One Month Musings

1. She has a sweet little dimple in her left cheek. You can only see it when she smiles or cries. We have no idea who she got it from as neither of us have dimples.

2. She also has started doing the “Elvis lip” when the mood strikes. And by “mood” I mean gassiness.

3. The other day she made a grunting noise that sounded something like “Abba guur aaa” and Tyler wanted to know if that was her first word. To which I replied, “uhhh, no honey, Abagura is not a real word and one month olds do not talk.”

Powerless

We are powerless against the forces of that bottom lip. Gets us every time...

Support

If I had to sum up the question “How are you doing as a new little family?” I would say the most amazing thing has been the amount of support we have received - Our friends, family, and this community have all gone out of their way to ease our transition into parenthood bringing over meals, helping out at the house, and the many sweet and thoughtful gifts for our little one. It’s been really astounding just how much love was waiting for Aliyah and that surrounds us every day.

I just wanted to take a moment and thank all of you who leave comments with such tried and true advice. To all of you who leave me hysterical and supportive messages and those who share your personal stories with me - I just want you to know that I am overwhelmed sometimes by how good you are to me.

And also, I am ashamed to say that I am the world’s worst at replying to emails. You send me such beautiful words and I feel like you deserve an equally beautiful response and then they just build-up, unanswered in my inbox or facebook and I walk around hanging my head in shame because of what an awful blogger I am to not respond in a timely manner.

So this is just to say - thank you for coming back and reading, despite me.

Love to all of you!

My First Bottle

Last week I had my first bottle! I drank like a champ and we’re all celebrating because now daddy can feed me too. We LOVE the Adiri bottles even though they are pretty funny looking!

Aliyah took to it immediately and loved eating with her daddy!

My Sweet Smelling Baby

I am constantly waging a battle in my head between the baby I have now and the baby I will have in the future. I find myself saying things like “I can’t wait until Ali fits into this outfit” and “I can’t wait until she can laugh and crawl or say mama”

And the other half of me struggles to snap the bottom of the onesie she wore the second day of her life and watches as her skinny newborn legs turn chubby and I am sad that a month has almost passed us by. I keep wishing for a pause button before her tiny, newborn stage comes to an end.

Last night, as she lay sleeping on my chest, I was just soaking in her soft baby smells and my eyes welled up with tears when I realized that she wouldn’t smell this way forever. The thought that one day I might be unable to recall the intoxicating scent of this new little life was almost more than I could bare to think about.

I feel like I’m in a constant state of flux - dreaming of who this tiny girl will grow to be, and wishing for the way she is, this very moment, to never change.

Letters to Daddy (on his first father's day)

Every morning we open our eyes to you. Another day begins.

You protect us from the boogie monster. Always making sure our doors are locked before we drift to sleep. You kill the bugs that sometimes find their way indoors.

You change diapers at 1am without so much as a grumble. You cook dinner with one hand while you provide comfort with the other. You’re always telling one or the other of us that we’re beautiful... and no one else on this earth makes us laugh like you do.

Sometimes I watch you going about this life. Caring for us. Doing for us. Being with us. Loving us with such conviction... and I wonder what sort of cosmic lottery I must have won to have you as my husband.

You are brains and music and fun and heart. You are what it means to be a husband. a friend. a father.

thank you, for all that you do.

Love (two girls who are madly, deeply for you)

Marcie & Aliyah

A Little Smile for Your Friday

I love all her funny little faces

It has been a busy week for us and will continue to be a busy weekend. Tyler's brother is getting married tomorrow (CONGRATS Austin & Jamie!!) and we have really been enjoying all the family and friends that have come into town. Also on Sunday, Tyler will be celebrating his very first Father's Day!!

Happy Friday - Happy Weekend - and Happy Father's Day

Aliyah Jacquelyn's Birth Story

I’ll start this story when I woke up Tuesday morning at 5 AM with a 'tummy ache' - little did I know at the time that this was the start of my labor with Aliyah. When I realized about 10 minutes later that these crampy feelings had a start and a finish it hit me that these could be contractions. Tyler woke up and we laid in bed staring at each other in disbelief.

The contractions were about 2 minutes apart but only lasted 20-30 seconds - we learned that contractions should be 5 min apart, lasting 1 min or more for at least an hour. We had two options: wait for them to spread out or wait for them to go away. As much as I didn't want them to go away (being almost 2 weeks overdue and my induction scheduled in 2 days) I knew that if I could get rid of them, they were not going to bring us a baby. Luckily, no matter what I did, they would not go away.

Throughout the day I was able to work through the contractions with the support of my husband at home - Tyler was AMAZING! He said exactly what I needed to hear and would encourage me to try different things to make me as comfortable as possible. I took a shower, watched a movie, and would go back and forth from the tub to our bed all day. Tyler made sure that I drank a lot of water. He also fixed me small snacks (grapes, oatmeal, yogurt and applesauce) to eat until I didn't feel like eating anything else around lunch time.

There was one point in the afternoon that I started to feel pressure in my back - When I would finish a contraction, I wouldn't get a break in between because my back was hurting all the time (this was the only time during my labor that I started to panic a little). Tyler called our doula, Vanessa. She said that the baby is moving, turning and fell in a spot that was putting pressure on my spine. She gave Tyler some ideas to try with me to help our baby move into a more favorable position and also told Tyler to take me into Aliyah's room to help me keep my focus during contractions. I began to feel nauseous and when I did get sick, it forced the baby to move and I felt good again (it is a sick world when you throw up... you feel good)

I was able to sleep 2-3 minutes in between contractions, but they were definitely getting more intense. They had spread out to 4-6 minutes and were lasting a little longer than a minute. Tyler called our doula again to check in and told her that my mood hadn't changed yet (that was also another sign the dads were told to look for in moms before going to the hospital). As I breathed heavily in the background through my next contraction, our doula told Tyler that she though he may have missed my mood change... she asked if I usually talk a lot (ummm, yeah) and asked if I had talked on the phone recently. Tyler confessed that I had refused to answer any phone calls. "Buddy, you missed the mood change," She told him.

My contractions were strong, but manageable and I leaned against the bed trying to focus myself. It was important to me to labor in the comfort and quiet of our house as long as possible. As my contractions grew stronger and closer together, Tyler massaged my back and hips as I breathed through them.

It was about 10:30pm when I felt they were getting so intense that I couldn’t breathe through them in comfort any longer. While Tyler called our family and prepared the last items for our hospital bag, I tried to steady my emotions. We had done so much, worked so hard, dreamed of this day and it was finally here. My contractions began to get stronger and I was hit with a wave of emotions. I went into Aliyah's nursery one final time before we left. I leaned my head against her crib. I said a long prayer to God and asked him to watch over Aliyah and I in the coming hours. Tyler then took a last minute photo to capture the girth of my almost 42 week tummy.

We climbed in the car and made the 20 minute trip to Shawnee Mission Medical Center in Merriam. The car ride was okay, but I had to sit upright, wearing a seat belt as each contraction rolled through my body. More than anything, I just wanted to get there and get centered on the task that lay ahead of me.

My mom, dad, brother and sister-in-law met us at the hospital and camped out waiting patiently for Aliyah's arrival. I was so blessed to have such a wonderful support team. It lifted my heart knowing that my family was right there for me... so much love waiting to welcome our little girl.

It was after 11:30pm by the time I had checked in, dressed in the (cute) gown I had brought with me, and gotten settled in the labor and delivery room. The nurse confirmed that I was dilated to 5 cm, halfway there, and Tyler wrapped his arms around me. I felt encouraged by that thought. As a first time mother, I knew my labor could be long – but knowing I had come so far already gave me renewed energy.

It is hard to really understand what a contraction feels like until you are in the middle of one. It isn’t like menstrual cramps, it isn’t a head to toe ache – it’s a deep, intense, active pain that rolled from my lower belly and spread through my body. Every contraction had a steady increase in strength, a peak, and then a merciful end – giving me enough time to gather my breath and strength to prepare for the next one.

It felt so good between each contraction. I took that time to just lay there and relax my mind and body or even crack a joke here and there. After one contraction that seemed to be a little more intense than the ones before, I said, "whoa! that was a good one!" - I wanted to stay positive knowing that each contraction was bringing me my baby girl. I remember our doula turning to Tyler at one point and ask, "Is she always this much fun?"

As part of our birth plan, I requested as little medical intervention as possible. No IV, intermittent fetal monitoring only and no internal exam until I requested. A lot of women have a strong desire to know exactly how far they have progressed in their labor, but for me – I didn’t want a number of centimeters dilated to effect the focus of my efforts. I was afraid that hearing I’d progressed only a few centimeters would shake my courage. With nothing connecting me to my environment, I was free to move and find a comfortable position to labor. Surprisingly, being on my hands and knees felt the most comfortable and I stayed that way in bed for over the next hour.

At 1am my water broke during a contraction. What a weird feeling. I think I was giggling a little while informing the room, "uhhhh... I am pretty sure my water just broke." That gave me about a five minute break before my next contraction... However, when they returned they became much more intense from the ones I had before. The jokes began to fade and my eyes remained closed for the rest of my labor. I had to let go of trying to control the pain of each contraction and went deep within myself to find strong breaths and allow my body take over.

By 2:30am, I was asking to use the birthing tub for the remainder of my active laboring. I rode each contraction up and down – laying sideways in the tub leaning over the edge as I tried to stay focused on one wave at a time. Tyler stayed right there next to me, holding my hand, rubbing my arms and encouraging me over and over again that I was doing a good job. “You are doing so good, honey. I am so proud of you,” he would say – and even those few and simple words made me even more determined. I was doing this for him as much as I was doing it for myself - I focused on the image of Aliyah in her father’s arms and the intensity of my desire to bring his little girl into the world.

The pain had become so deep and active that I began to vocalize with a deep soft moan with every contraction – it wasn’t a sound of fear or even one of raw, physical pain – it was a sound of full and complete effort – a focused, primal sound that carried me to each wave – over the peak and down again.

At some point, I felt my body change - there was a new pressure that I could feel - it was not any more painful, but I could tell something was different. "Can I get out and push now?" I asked. Our doula encouraged me to go through 3 more contractions and then I could get out and push. This was very encouraging to me and I knew I could get through 3 more.

It was 4:15am when I got out of the labor tub. We called the nurse to come in, check me again and found out that I was a full 10 cm dilated and ready to push. In the dim light of our room, with the soft sounds of the music we had brought with us, I let go of my body and let it lead me. The nurse said to push with the next contraction, whenever I was ready. I pushed three times during my next contraction. "Stop pushing we need to get the doctor!" - we were shocked but thrilled that we would soon be face-to-face with our little girl.

It was so hard to breathe through the contractions while we waited for the doctor. Finally the nurse said I could push when I wanted to - the doctor was here and getting ready. With each contraction I felt a deep, guttural urge to push. I couldn’t have stopped it if I wanted to. It was as if I was hooked up to electricity and each jolt pushed my body a little more. It felt so good to push through each contraction.

I soon began to feel the pressure of Aliyah's head moving out a little more with every contraction. Tyler held my hand as I vocalized through each contraction - it felt good to let the sound go with each push. Our doula, worked to keep me focused on releasing after each contraction. Because I actually could feel my daughter moving forward with each contraction, I found myself not wanting to release at the end of each one. I wanted to keep moving her forward but my body needed those small breaks between waves to regroup.

Because I had no pain relief, whatsoever, every nerve and fiber of my body was tuned into the experience. I could feel every time her head would push forward. I experienced her journey. I knew exactly where she was at each moment and as we approached the final pushes of my labor – I found myself consumed with the need to bring her through me and into the world. Those last moments are a bit of a blur – an overwhelming joy – my life changed forever in one final burst of effort. I heard someone in the room say, "Marcie, open your eyes and look at your baby."

At 4:56am, a mere 15 minutes of pushing, she was laid, wet and pink on my chest. Her eyes blinked, her small hands clasped at my skin. She never screamed, but instead cried out for a few seconds then settled against my heart beating through my chest. Her eyes were open and she stared up at us with her small, blue eyes. Tyler curled around us and the three of us laid there consumed by the new definition of who we were. New parents, a daughter, a family. God, she was so beautiful. Beyond beautiful. Perfect in every way.

No one took her away for tests. No one disturbed us. Tyler cut Aliyah's umbilical cord and we laid there in bliss while our eyes memorized her every inch. We stayed that way for over an hour while Bob Marley sang in the background. And eventually, when we were good and ready – they bathed her, measured and weighed her. A very healthy 9 pounds, 1.1 ounces and 19.75 inches long.

I breastfed her for the first time as I lay there recovering and an hour after that I was out of the bed and standing. My recovery has been wonderful, despite a few stitches and a sore body (my muscles felt like I had done a tough workout at the gym). The whole rest of the day I had too much love in my heart to sleep. I had been given two wonderful gifts: the first, a beautiful healthy baby and the second, experiencing of the power of delivery. I have thanked God every day since.

Aliyah has been feeding non-stop since she was born and that has become one of my favorite times with her. We lay in the bed together, at some early hour of the morning, both of us sleepy and she nurses while I rub small circles on her back. She coos at me and open and closes her fingers against my skin. Nothing you do in advance can prepare your heart for those moments.

I’ve spent the past hour writing this experience with tears flowing down my cheeks. I’ll never be the same. Not after this. To come face to face with the most intense pain, the strongest desire, the deepest love... Motherhood is a gift unlike any other.

Our Baby Girl is Three Weeks Old Today!!

I’ll be honest, I did a lot of research and preparation that focused on having a healthy pregnancy and a good labor and delivery - but I didn’t spend much time learning what to do once she arrived. I’ve never spent any amount of time at all with a newborn and I was pretty nervous that I was going to make a big ‘ol mess of motherhood.

But I took the advice of some women I truly respect and admire (my mom and a few friends) who told me that it would be intuitive once she arrived - and you know what, they were right! Babies aren’t complicated creatures - they just want a dry diaper, a belly full of milk and a comfy, warm place to sleep. I can handle that!

In the past 3 weeks I have learned to simultaneously breastfeed and file the tiniest little fingernails you’ve ever seen. I’ve learned to tightly swaddle a squirming infant in the dark at 3 in the morning.

I still haven’t figured out how to get her dressed in a timely manner (finagling those little arms through tiny baby clothes arm holes is HARD people!) but overall, Aliyah is a fat, happy baby. I’m doing it! Well, we’re doing it. Half the credit goes to my husband who happily takes night shifts caring for her and realistically changes about 80% of her diapers (he says he needs a designated job since he can’t feed her… who am I to argue with that?)

Together we are successfully caring for a miniature person despite a total lack of experience. We did have to consult one of those “Your baby’s first year” books when it came to how frequently we should be bathing her but other than that, we’ve figured it out on our own. I’m not going to lie, for two complete baby novices we are a little impressed with ourselves.

Just a Little Note

This is just a little note to say, you are more than I could ever have imagined. I stood near your crib and watched you sleep for a long time the other day.

thank you,
thank you,
thank you for being my baby.

Love,
Mom

Aliyah, meet Kansas City. Kansas City, meet Aliyah.

enjoying Trampled Under Foot at the Old Shawnee Days Festival

Ali, you’re going to love shaking your little diapered booty at the outdoor summer concerts at Frontier Park and getting your face painted at the annual Jazz in the Woods festivities. You’re going to get your first taste of the world’s best sandwich at The American Royal Barbecue. You’ll spend lazy days in the shade at the Maple Leaf Festival watching the parade and eating caramel apples. We will have many picnic dinners enjoying a show at The Theatre in the Park and munching popcorn during a late night drive-in movie. Your weekends spent being pushed around the farmer’s market where we will eventually go to pick out the very first vegetables you’ll ever eat - this city has so much to offer you!

And my dear Kansas City - My little girl is going to leave her mark on you one way or another, just you wait!

My Dear Aliyah...

You are eighteen days old and I am eighteen days into my new life as your mother. I spend large amounts of time everyday just smelling the top of your head and feeling your tiny body rise and fall as we watch the afternoon pass us by from our warm spot on the couch.

I’ve learned that sometimes when I kiss the palms of your small hands that you will curl your fingers around my lips. I’ve learned you love having your head rubbed when you nurse. I’ve learned to decipher so many of your noises… your hungry cry, your peaceful coo, your frustrated grunt.

For years now, I thought I knew what love looked like in your father’s eyes - but there is a new fire that reflects when he holds you close. He calls you “beautiful” and tells you every day that he has a big, whopping crush on you.

Every night we take you to bed before we are sleepy and lay you down between us. We border you on both sides like tall, fortress walls and within that space we marvel at the kingdom that is our little family. We can’t believe we exist, that you exist, that love this large and tangible exists in such a small curl of bodies on a little bed in a house in Kansas City.

Cloth Diapers

I’ve been getting a few questions inquiring about how our cloth diapering is going. Based on the advice of several cloth diapering mamas and my own research, we’ve decided to wait until Aliyah is 2 months old to transitions to cloth diapers. We are currently going back and forth between Pampers Swaddlers disposables and Huggies - and while I am really looking forward to making the change, I am happy with our decision to go this route for three reasons.

1. The pampers have a strip that turns blue when she is wet - as we learn her potty habits, having this little sensor has been helpful. However, with the controversy over the Pampers dry max we have also been using Huggies.

2. The cloth diapers I have are just a little too big for her.

3. Waiting a couple months will give her system time to regulate and time for us to adjust to her diapering needs - we would be going through SO many cloth diapers right now, trying to get used to caring for a newborn, adjusting to using cloth diapers, and handling the insane amount of laundry just seemed like too much in the beginning.

With that said, I wanted to walk through what our cloth diapering strategy will be once we switch. There are so many different types of cloth diapers available, and we really wanted to try a few different kinds, but we ended up with Gdiapers because they were the most affordable and practical for the needs of our family.

Gdiapers - These are awesome “hybrid” diapers as they feature a biodegradable insert that can be flushed or thrown away (and decomposes in 100 days). These are great when you’re out and about and don’t want to worry with carrying home soiled cloth diapers or an easier solution for those who are babysitting, grandparents, etc. In addition to the bio inserts, you can also use prefold cloth diapers as an insert to save on the cost when you are close to home. The outside cover of a gdiaper can be reused over several diaper changes.

So why go through all the trouble of cloth diapers when disposables seem so easy?

Well, for one - the cost savings with cloth diapers is HUGE. Disposable diapers cost $1200- $3000 more for the same amount of use vs. cloth - and if you reuse cloth diapers for a second child, the savings increases even more. That’s a pretty significant savings for us.

Secondly - the environmental impacts of disposable diapers is staggering. A single disposable diaper takes 300-500 years to decompose in a landfill. When you think about just how many disposable diapers are being put into our landfills, it’s the least we can do to try and reduce our family’s impact.

And two other factors that pushed us towards using cloth - cloth diapered babies on average are potty trained almost a year earlier than babies who use disposables and have significantly less diaper rash.

Add that all up, and cloth diapers seemed like a no brainer for us. Once we begin using them, I plan to post on how we care and clean them and hopefully tell you that these diapers work great! And again if any of you out there are using cloth, I’d love to hear your suggestions and tips too!

Dear Aliyah

Everyday I watch some small part of your grow and change. This week your eyelashes have grown longer and you’ve been smiling more and more.

Oh, your smile! We live for it. Unpredictable and consuming - it is your currency for all we’ve done since you arrived. Every groggy, early morning feeding, every diaper change... paid in full with one flash of those tiny, upturned lips.

I’m certain we are just one of many who will be set a flutter by those little lashes and exquisite mouth - but that’s as it should be. Inside we will always carry the very first hearts that fell madly in love with you.

Love,
Mom

I am a Mama

I realize that from this point forward I will always be a mama first. Everything has shifted inside of me. I hope the world is ok with this new arrangement.

Two Weeks Old

Happy Two Weeks Aliyah Jacquelyn

We have already done so much together and I am looking forward to showing you so much more. This past week...

* Your dad went back to work so you and I have been busy around the house. I am one lucky lady to have you to hang out with all day.

* Your daddy took both us girls on our first date all together. We dined out at a new Chinese restaurant and had such a lovely time together. You slept soundly in your car seat in the booth next to me. Your dad was so proud to be out with his girls - You and I were so proud to show off our amazing man.

* We took you in your stroller and roamed around the Old Shawnee Days Festival. We ran into several friends who were all so happy to see you (your mama and daddy love showing you off). We were so excited that one of our favorite local blues bands were playing and hoped you remembered some of their songs from when we went to their concerts when you were still growing inside of me. I think I caught you dancing a little out of the corner of my eye.

* We met up with Grammy for a mid-day Royals baseball game. We were able to use Grandpa's company tickets to the Diamond Club. We sat in an inside booth with air conditioning - It couldn't have been more perfect! We ate hot dogs and your dad taught you all about baseball. We took lots of pictures... here are some of my favorites:

Three Generations!

Bath Time

One of our favorite times with Aliyah - this is what bath time looks like at the Inzer house...

New Life

When we came home from the hospital we found

another new mama at the Inzer house... so sweet!!

... my baby bird blowing kisses ...

My Little Monkey

“You know what I was thinking about today... When I was little, I always wanted a monkey in diapers. But you know, having a baby is way better.” - Marcie (while holding Aliyah last night)

What it Feels Like to be a New Mom

It feels incredibly, overwhelmingly AMAZING having a little baby in the house... My heart is bursting with love and I am soaking up every minute of it!!!

However, I am a total mess! I had my first shower and brushed my hair for the first time in THREE days yesterday morning - (I’m pretty sure I combed out what was starting to become my first dreadlock.) I would like to venture out of the house but I seriously am this close from walking around the city looking like I belong on a late night episode of 'Cops' (you know the one where they arrest that crazy lady for making obscene gestures in the Wal-Mart parking lot)

I promise I will stay in hiding and come out when the dust settles, my other shoe reappears and I finally locate my leg razor...

7 Hours Before I Delivered and 7 Days After

It took 9 months for my body to grow and change to accomodate a child. I gained a total of 32 pounds, my bra size went from average to Pamela Anderson, and I’m not going to even take a guess on how much extra booty I’ve acquired.

I was really interested to see how my body would change once Aliyah arrived. The first few days after her birth I had a substantial belly pooch that was really jiggly and squishy - an odd thing to have after so many months of a hard, round belly - but just yesterday my outtie belly button started to go back in and today my entire mid-section feels a little more firm all over.

After all it’s been through, I’m cutting my body some major slack. I’m going to take my time getting back in shape and not beat myself up over a little extra poundage here and there. I haven’t stepped on a scale since Ali was born, and I don’t plan to for a few more weeks.

My exercise routine for the foreseeable future is going to consist of breast feeding, baby carrying, and walking around the neighborhood... but I did want to post a one week post-partum picture as I think it is interesting to see the change.

My First Week in Pictures

I made my mom and dad fall in love with me

I met my pediatrician and I think she might have fallen in love with me too (and I might have fallen in love with her)

I met my fur brother and sister and they

licked the bottom of my feet

I took lots and lots of naps

Mommy and daddy spent most of their time changing my diapers

(Dad’s only gagged once so far)

I took the stroller for a spin around the block

...and I gotta tell you, this whole being a baby thing

is a pretty good gig