Final Countdown: 0 Weeks

 Pottery Barn Kids Photo Opp 

FORTY WEEKS!!!

I fluctuate between feeling really wonderful, completely content and totally happy to wait as long as she wants - and being miserably uncomfortable (I am blaming the heat).

I have another doctors appointment tomorrow, but will see the nurse practitioner as my OBGYN is still out-of-town. I’m not having any braxton hicks contractions (I also didn't have any with Aliyah) but I feel loads and loads of pressure (something I never really felt the first go around). What does this all mean?!?! Will I go into labor tonight? Next week? WILL I BE PREGNANT FOREVER? I am prepared to go 42 weeks if I have to - I did with Aliyah - but it definitely wasn't this hot. Holy Smokes!

On another note - I have no interest in even hearing the words “induction” until I’m staring 42 weeks in the face. Unfortunately, there are no natural guaranteed ways to start labor and breaking my water or using chemicals to induce labor will just put me at a greater risk for requiring more interventions and lessens my chance of having the natural birth experience that I want. So, we wait. and walk. and bounce on a birth ball. and eat spicy food and lots of pineapple.

My Little Butterfly

Beautiful and graceful, varied and enchanting, small but approachable, butterflies lead you to the sunny side of life.

And everyone deserves a little sunshine

-- Jeffrey Glassberg

A Little Perspective

Tonight I’ve been reminiscing on the things I will miss most when my sweet baby girl exists on her own in the world. For all the time and effort I’ve spent these last weeks wishing she would be here and the aches and pains would subside and I could do simple things like finally sleep on my belly again, there are so many things I’m going to miss. I’m doing my best to savor the wait.

I love trying to distinguish what exacty is that hard little body part that pushes out against my right side - is that a foot? A knee? A tiny baby bottom? I have loved feeling every roll and move Everly has made since those very first flutters. It often feels as if this is our secret language. A Morse Code between mother and daughter.

The way people openly start conversations with you out of the blue when you’re pregnant - how far along are you? Do you know what you’re having? Have you chosen a name? My faith in humanity and the goodness of people in general is strengthened with every door held, every offer to help lift something heavy into the car and every 19 year old boy cashier willing to openly admit that he thinks "Babies are pretty cool"

Feeling the steady thump thump of Everly when she has the hiccups. In those moments, the surreal nature that generally accompanies thoughts of growing a child in my body are replaced with such realness. It’s such a human thing to do - you know?

The perfectly round curve of my belly - despite all the weight I’ve gained in other places - the truth is, I really love the shape of my belly with my child inside. I will miss how when I undress at night I always spend an extra moment in front of the mirror in our bedroom standing in profile and running my hands along the sloping arch of a once flat tummy and marveling at the capabilities of the human body.

The excitement and anticipation of a life that will be. Whose nose will she have? What personality traits will Tyler and I each pass down? How will our exact combination of genes create in her an original soul. The one and only Everly Jean. Only time and love and patience will reveal these things to us.

I am reminded that this may be my last time to be pregnant. Who knows what the future holds for our family. I am existing only in this moment of full and complete awareness of the gift I’ve experienced for the last 39.5 weeks of my life.

I marvel that only a few layers of skin and muscle separate us and soon enough, not even that will keep us apart. The best part still waits for me. 

This pregnancy has been a genuine gift... What a blessing.

Celebrating!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to a dear mama, loving grammy and wonderful best friend. We have all been a little curious to see if Everly has been waiting for this day to be a birthday surprise for her grammy... we will have to wait and see.

Happy Happy Birthday To You!!!

Exchanging Sister Gifts

It was recommended to us to have the girls get gifts for each other to exchange at the hospital. We really had a fun time putting these presents together. Not only do I hope this will help Everly make a good first impression, but it was another great way to help Aliyah connect to the idea of our growing family.

Aliyah was so mindful as we talked about what babies need and what we should get her new sister. She decided on some books, a blanket, diapers and socks. She spent some time the other day picking out a gift bag, wrapping her gift and decorating the tag - I know Everly will just love them!

Everly got Aliyah some really cool gifts too!! We picked out the "Lama Lama Red Pajamas" book, a lego wagon and a leap pad (an amazing deal we found on craigslist). We decided on these items because we think she will love them and we wanted gifts that could keep her busy for a little while when I have to focus on Everly's needs.

Hopefully these gifts, all our discussions and involving Aliyah in as much as we can will help her transition from being an only child into an amazing big sister. Did you have your kids exchange sibling gifts? What did they get each other?

Final Countdown: 1 Week

These are for Everly's nurses, doctors and visitors! I made similar thank you treats when Aliyah was born too, but I don't think I ever posted them on the blog. My mom made these adorable tea packets and I made a few candy bar wrappers.                                                                                                    
I woke up this morning but kept my eyes closed. “Any day from this point forward would be a fine time to meet you” I thought quietly to Everly. I treated myself to a pedicure last night and got my toes painted baby pink which I thought was pretty appropriate! I am getting my hair trimmed today (that always makes me feel pretty), a lunch date with my mom and Aliyah put her small hand over my belly (as she often does) when she woke up this morning and said “Evie! Evie!” in an attempt to convince her sister to join us. Aliyah loves to grab random objects and books to press up against my bellybutton. She truly believes that Everly can see anything through my bellybutton. She will also try to look in it like it is a secret peep hole to her sister.

This evening, we will be whipping up a few meals to put in the freezer and enjoying the stillness of doing nothing. Everything is practically ready. Car seat is installed... the bassenet is set-up... our bags are all packed. I cannot find where I put any of Aliyah's baby socks and I still need to put together some music that I would like to listen to at the hospital. That's it!!

This girl is still riding low, low, low. It's been nice to be able to breath easier as her little feet are out of my lungs but this means more bathroom breaks and less sleep.

Whereas I spent a many of my laboring hours at the house in and out of the tub, cat napping and rocking back and forth to the record player when I was in early labor with Aliyah, we have been encouraged us to hit the road as soon as I’m in true labor this time. I’m really looking forward to laboring in water again and really not interested in having a baby on I-35 (Or in a Wendy’s parking lot!) so we’re following their orders and heading north for the 20 minute drive as soon as I’m certain that Everly is on her way.

You Make Life Fun...

And the Greatest of These is Love

My two best chances...

I haven't talked much about topics like this on my blog, but I would not be true to myself if I did not write today about the subject that is front and center on my heart.

Lately, there has been a lot of talk about equality - A teenage boy was asked to leave a boy scout camp in Missouri this week when he came out about being gay - The president of Chick-fil-a recently announced the company's anti-gay stance - I listened to a radio clip of a representative for Salvation Army stating it is their company's belief that gay people deserve to be put to death... all of these done in the name of Christ.

For a girl who loves Jesus and loves to blog, I am struggling to find the right words today. It just makes me all the more determined to raise my children to stand up for equality and to speak up when they know someone is being harmed.

Tyler and I know that Aliyah and Everly are the greatest tools God has given us to spread the beauty of His Grace. He has tasked us with the responsibility of molding and shaping them into adults. It is our role as parents to teach them to protect and fight for the downtrodden and the outcast and to pray that someone does the same for them should they ever fall into that category.

God’s love is not shown in the person who knows the most bible verses. It is not felt in the person who casts judgments on who is worthy and who is not. It is not spread with the removal of basic rights for our neighbors.

God’s love grows when we live it in action. When we share His word through our encounters with others, through our charity, our forgiveness, and through sacrifice.

We spread His love when we give, not when we take.

I think about how these announcements and this behavior could impact my children. I can not predict who they will grow up to be. who they will love. I can not predict if or when they will get married or have children of their own - and it is my duty as their mother to do everything in my power to act against ignorance that could negatively impact their future rights.

God gave His children free will so that we could make our own choices. He already took the ultimate punishment for those who so many are still trying to punish (Thanks Ben Rodda for that reminder). He also gave us His word to guide our lives and today, these scriptures are weighing so deeply on me:

Matthew 25:40 “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

and this one

Romans 13:10: Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

and especially this one:

Peter 4:8: Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.

Please do not take away the rights of our fellow citizens. It is not loving our neighbors. It is not protecting the weak, the minority, “the least of these”. Please stop throwing stones.

I hope that love will lead you today and always.

Final Countdown: 2 Weeks

Someone needs to tell this little girl that the exit out of my belly is not straight through my right side. She has been trying to Chuck Norris kick her way out for several weeks now and it’s really starting to hurt! But on the other hand it is a bit comforting to know there is a strong baby in there!

Every day I try to remember that this might be my last day feeling her safe and secure in my belly and having her all to myself. This might be my last day to parent Aliyah with ever fiber of my being tuned only to her and her needs. This might be my last day to sleep blissfully close and uninterrupted beside my husband for the next few months. I am looking so forward to the new journey that begins when we meet our daughter for the first time, but I’m also trying to savor the last few experiences of this chapter before the next one begins. Being a parent has taught me patience and I am putting it to practice right now.

In the meantime, I’m trying to stay comfortable with air conditioning blasting inside, massages from my wonderful husband, and a good long float in the swimming pool here and there.

Passion, Joy and Light

Watching my daughter interact with the world has made me so aware of just how much we are affected and molded by our interactions with others. Aliyah is at the age where everyone is a friend. She approaches everyone she encounters as if they are on this on earth solely to hold her hand or dance or play hide-and-seek with her. Can you imagine how amazing the world must look with that point of view? I watch her engage with children when we are out and I’m amazed with how easily she interacts with them. No reservations. No concerns about how she will be received. She has no concept of rejection or exclusion. 

Often she will walk up to a little girl around 5 or 6 and just take her hand. It usually catches the older child off guard and they will stand there, frozen for a moment, while they try to decide what to do about this tiny, smiling little girl who is tightly gripping their hand or has wrapped them in a bear hug or who is looking for a welcoming "hiiiiiiiiiiii" back. Sometimes they pull away, clearly uncomfortable. Other times they will warm to her and smile back. When they make it clear that her affections are not wanted, I step in and remind Aliyah that sometimes people like their personal space and let’s take a step back or offer a high five.

While I never want to make another child feel uncomfortable, there is a part of me that just marvels at the innocent way she hands out loves so gratuitously. One day the world will teach her that you can’t go around hugging everyone whenever the desire hits. That making new friends isn’t as easy as taking the hand of the girl in line next to you and smiling up at her. That not everyone will like you or will want to dance in circles with you until you get dizzy. And it saddens me some to think a few of these lessons will be learned before she even enters school.

She is the purest of pure right now. A little sponge for life. Soaking in all the most authentic and happy parts and reflecting it out into the world. She is rose colored glasses in flesh and blood. Walking love. Part of growing up is learning the rules and standards of our society. What is acceptable and what parts of ourselves we should harness - but in this moment, she uncontained passion, joy and light.

I’m amazed daily at how much she teaches me about what it means to live and what it looks like to fearlessly give yourself over to the pleasure of being alive.

Final Countdown: 3 Weeks

Well, here we are. We’ve officially reached full-term baby status. I’m really proud of my body for getting Everly and I to this point safe and sound. It’s a pretty remarkable feat - growing a child - and I rarely give my body the appreciation or admiration that it truly deserves for such an accomplishment. Like most people, I am my own worst critic and do far too much nitpicking and wishing I could change this or that about myself - so I’m putting all of that aside right now to give a standing ovation to this body that has created and carried it's second child with great care. I am so very grateful for what it has done for me and my babies.

Last week's appointment was a good one - I am already 60% effaced and dilated to a 2! GBS negative, my bloodwork came back healthy and this darling girl is low and head down. But still with all that, it’s a guessing game at this point - this little girl will make her entrance when she’s good and ready.

Aliyah Says...

Aliyah: I want to watch fireworks tonight please
Me: So sorry sweetie but we only get fireworks one time every year
Aliyah: Darn it! ... night-night fireworks *sigh*

Final Countdown: 4 Weeks

I’m starting to feel like a little mama squirrel with all of the little stockpiles of baby necessities I’ve been pulling out of hiding lately. I keep trying to remember those things we needed most in the early weeks with Aliyah. I’ve been storing away tiny cloth diapers, the teeniest socks I can find, little hats, and lots and lots of soft lightweight blankets. I have also found some stuff for nursing, and other little things I may need at the few weeks.

It's finally July and we are about a month away more or less (wowza) from meeting this sweet little girl! We couldn't be more excited!

Aliyah Says...

I am starting an "Aliyah Says..." post so that I can remember all the cute and clever things this little one comes up with.

Aliyah: Mommy a princess. Ali a princess.
Daddy a... mmmm... (long pause)
Us: Daddy is a prince
Aliyah: No... Daddy a BOY!!