Baby Prepping 101

Aliyah practiced diapering her bunny...

Isn't this one of the cutest cloth diapers you've ever seen?!?

The REAL edition

I’ve been reminiscing on the preparation we did before Aliyah arrived and trying to remember everything before our new baby girl arrives. But thinking back on the things a new baby course teaches you - how to change a diaper, how to swaddle, how to give baby their first bath - I realized that all of that stuff is fairly easy and intuitive.

What we really need is a how-to class on all of the things that you have to learn the hard way. A class on the stuff no one ever prepares you for until you’re in the thick of it

Here’s what my dream “Baby Prep 101” class syllabus would look like:

Course 1: How to get baby poop off the walls

Course 2: How to breastfeed while simultaneously making a pot of soup

Pro tip: Moby Wrap!

Course 3: How to drive a car with one arm, while reaching into the backseat to hold a pacifier in your child’s mouth with the other.

Course 4: How to walk ninja-style silent out of your child’s room at nap time

Pro tip: Wear socks

Course 5: How to successfully buckle a wild, protesting child into a carseat during a rainstorm.

Pro tip: distract them with goldfish or car keys. Block the rain with an umbrella strategically held between your ribs and elbow

Course 6: How to cut tiny finger/toe nails without taking off an appendage

Pro tip: Fingernails are easiest cut on sleepy babies.

Course 7: How to get crud out of the corners of baby eyes without having your child react as if you are trying to stab them with a hot poker.

Course 8: How to change a baby’s diaper in a public restroom without catching the plague, the funk, or swine flu.

Got any pro tips you’d add to the list above? Maybe a completely different course you’d add to my syllabus? I want to hear them! And who do we need to talk to to make this class a reality?!?!