When I was pregnant with Aliyah, I wrote this post about why I was choosing a natural childbirth.
Looking back on the decision, I’m proud of the amount of preparation we did to make it happen. I found a wonderful OBGYN who was always very honest with me in answering my questions around her support of natural childbirth. We made the investment in a doula to support us during labor and I took a natural birth course to help prepare me mentally and physically for the experience. Tyler and I also created a vision for what we wanted during birth, wrote it out, and shared it with our doctor, doula, and the hospital staff.
With all of those efforts in place, I knew that no matter what happened during my delivery, I had given myself all of the tools and resources to have the kind of birth I wanted. Every component played a crucial role - The doctor (who wasn't my OBGYN) and nurses followed our plans and never challenged us. Our doula help me throughout labor while we were at home and at the hospital - proving herself invaluable over and over again as she provided Tyler with natural pain management techniques and helped to keep me calm and focused. Creating a birth plan with my husband made him the most important tool in my labor arsenal - as he was such a source of strength, encouragement, and motivation for me through the entire experience.
Aliyah's birth was the single most defining experience of my life. It was the most physical. The most emotional. The most painful. The most rewarding. It was the first time in my life where I felt infinitely connected to the earth and to heaven. I was out of my body and intensely focused to my core at the same time. Time and time again in trying to describe it, the most appropriate word I can come up with is Spiritual. It was so incredibly spiritual.
I remember after she was born, I laid there in euphoric exhaustion, marveling at her and I was consumed with gratitude. I kept telling everyone in the room, "Thank you so much for all you did. Thank you for delivering this beautiful child to us." and I continued to hear back, "Marcie, you did it yourself. All of it. The doctor just caught her on the way out." In that moment, I swear I could have climbed Everest. I grew her and I delivered her my way, on my terms and the way I felt after accomplishing that is indescribable.
And that’s what I want again.
But the thing about birth is that there are no guarantees. I was blessed with a picture perfect labor - my contractions started, labor intensified gradually, my water broke only a few hours before I had to push and I was able to deliver my daughter without any complications in less than 24 hours start to finish. I have many friends with beautiful birth stories who were presented with different circumstances and challenges. One friend had to deliver her baby boy over a month early due to high blood pressure. Another friend had her water break 3 weeks before her due date but labor never started and she had to endure hours of pitocin and intense pain and exhaustion before finally accepting that if she was going to have any energy left to push, she needed an epidural to get some relief. Another friend had to leave her natural birth plan behind when her son was stuck behind her pubic bone after hours of pushing and required an emergency c-section. And all beautiful births. These are not uncommon situations and something I try to prepare myself for too.
In writing this, I hope that it does not come across that I am against epidurals or c-sections. That’s not the case at all - I am very grateful that we have medical advancements and skilled doctors to help in safely delivering babies when it is necessary - but with one in three women in this country delivering their child via c-section - I very much question the need for SO MUCH intervention in what most often could be a natural process. The US has seen a 50% increase in the rise of c-sections in the last decade. There are a whole slew of reasons for this that I won’t get into now, but we’ve decided that the safest choice for both me and our babies is to go the natural route.
Even though I am not looking forward to having to endure another hardcore active labor - I’m excited to experience this miracle again. Based on what we learned with my first labor, I plan on only changing a few things this go round and more than anything, I can’t wait to hold that little gal in my arms!
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